The Definition of Insanity

By Ryan Matejka

Written: 2017
Words: 456
Genre: Drama

Based on the writing prompt: You are stuck in a continuous loop of the day your beloved cast you aside and betrayed you. You can be freed from this pain forever if you kill him/her.

She loves me.

She loves me not.

She loves me.

She loves me not.

Each morning I wake up beside her.

Each evening I watch her pack up her things and leave.

I've been living this loop for so long that I've forgotten what happened yesterday.

I've been living this loop for so long that I've tried literally everything to get her to stay.

I've tried apologizing.

I've tried bargaining.

I've tried making her breakfast.

I've tried taking her out.

I've tried proposing.

I've tried distracting.

I've tried manipulating.

I've tried threatening.

I've tried forcing.

I've been trapped in this loop for so long that I've forgotten what I've tried.

I've been trapped in this loop for so long that I've run out of options.

Each morning I wake up beside her.

Each evening I watch her pack up her things and leave.

I've tried threatening to kill myself if she leaves.

I've tried actually doing it.

I've died so many different ways that I've run out of ways to keep it interesting.

When you're stuck in a loop, you'll do anything to make one day different than the last.

I've been living this day for so long that I've run out of new things to try.

I've tried being nice.

I've tried being despicable.

There's only one thing I haven't tried.

One morning, I make her breakfast one last time.

I fill her drink with pills.

I ask her what she wants to do together tomorrow.

She tells me she doesn't know yet.

I smile as she drinks the pills.

I watch as her body shuts down.

I make it look like a suicide.

I've had a lot of time to think about this.

I call 911.

I cry and stammer and spit.

I pretend to grieve.

I go to bed.

I wake up the following morning, alone in bed. I've done it! I've broken the spell! I've gotten out of the loop!

I deal with her grieving family as they arrive to pick up her things. I pretend to be in shock. I pretend that this is the worst day of my life. I pretend to be too in pain to keep anything she owned.

I go to bed.

I wake up alone in bed.

Her things are back in the apartment.

Her family comes over to collect them.

I tell them I did it.

I tell them I killed her.

I swallow a bunch of pills in front of them.

I wake up alone in bed.

Her things are back in the apartment.

Her family comes over to collect them.

I don't let them in.

I climb to the roof and throw myself onto the cement below.

I wake up alone in bed.

© 2018 by Ryan Matejka

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